The Best Way to deal with Inner Conflict
Sometimes I feel so conflicted about what to do…
Understanding Parts has been a game-changer for me and my clients. But what is Parts Work?
Internal Family Systems (IFS or Parts) is an integrative approach to psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. It combines systems thinking with the view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities, each with its own unique viewpoint and qualities.
We all have different Parts.
One Part may think we should take a break whereas another may adamantly disagree. A third Part may offer the suggestion that when it gets to 4 pm we’ll stop.
We all experience an internal battle at times… “Part of me really fancies the Pasta”. Another Part says: “But you haven’t had Pizza in ages”.
Conflict between our internal Parts is common and can explain a lot of our challenges in life!
Here’s how to think about it…
Imagine you are a benevolent CEO. The you I am speaking of here is you at your core, the you that is your essence… this you is what they describe as ‘self-energy’ in IFS/Parts. It is not a Part.
So, imagine at your core you are a benevolent and kind CEO. A really good-gal or good-guy whose job is to work with the rest of the team to help them collaborate and perform.
Imagine you have members at the boardroom table who have been around a long time working hard and maybe haven’t had a break, ever. A Peacekeeping Part happens to be sitting next to a Critic Part. A ‘Let’s get it done’ Part is next to the ‘let’s reflect on this and look long term’ Part. Your job is to get them ALL working in harmony... Such is the view of Parts/IFS.
The reason I introduce the model is to help my clients grow their awareness of what’s going on inside.
With awareness comes choice and with choice comes freedom.
Grow your awareness of your Internal Family System by:
Realise that you have a whole multitude of Parts inside. Each Part has its own perspective and motivations, its own fears and evidence. [tick]
Understand that some of your Parts have been tirelessly serving you your whole life. Some of your Parts evolved when you were very young and may have a very juvenile perspective.
Take time to get to know your Parts. Your Parts mean well but sometimes go about things in unhelpful ways, for example, a ‘worrying’ Part may come alive as you try to go to sleep. A ‘more is good’ Part may encourage you to drink or eat more. A ‘hold on this is risky/scary’ Part (or Parts) may stop you from exploring opportunities in an attempt to keep you safe.
Tune in to what it is the Part is calling attention to!
What is the Part saying?
How is the Part feeling?
How is the Part behaving?
Simply becoming aware that you have multiple internal Parts can be a game-changing step.
With awareness comes choice and with choice comes freedom.
If this resonates and you want to become more conscious of your Parts and reduce Inner Conflict and make meaningful progress get in touch… We can book in a trial session so you can experience how working with me can help. Nothing ventured nothing gained 😊
Hi, I’m James - your Business Coach in Bristol…
As a Business Coach in Bristol, I help people who want to disrupt the(ir) status quo.
Through Career and Business Coaching, I help people who want to disrupt the(ir) status quo.